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  - Entity #8471
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Artifacts

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The Atlantean Luminant Artifact
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The Atlantean Luminant Artifact (Copie)
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Notices

Tribune Castor : Please refrien yourself from trying to pet Entity #3486. I know he looks very fluffy and soft but 26 staff members have lost part of their hands

Tribune Vesta: To everyone who keeps bringing snacks into Containment Observation: The beings do not need snacks. The beings should not be offered snacks. The beings remember who fed them. Repercussions vary.

Tribune Castor : If you see Entity #221 wandering the hallway, do not attempt to “guide it back to its enclosure.” Entity #221 does not leave its enclosure — it simply is wherever it intends to be. If you make eye contact, politely look away and pretend to be extremely busy. Preferably with a clipboard.

Tribune Vesta: A reminder that the phrase “It’s probably fine” is not approved operational language. The last time someone said this, we had to spend three days extracting everyone from the ventilation shafts. They were not physically harmed, but the group therapy bills were considerable.

Updates

Cafeteria Lunch Hours Adjusted Due to ongoing temporal inconsistencies near the east wing, lunch will now be served from 12:00 to 12:45. If you experience déjà vu, overlapping conversations, or the sensation that lunch is happening continuously — please exit calmly and re-enter the dining area only once.

Vending Machine Adjustments The vending machine in Hallway D has stopped demanding offerings in exchange for snacks. Please do not thank it out loud. It hears gratitude as invitation.

Gym Access Entity #497 has been using the gym’s mirrors to observe staff doing yoga. Mirrors have now been covered. Classes will continue. Entity #497 is “mostly harmless” but also deeply judgmental.

Innocence proves nothing

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